Do You Do Yoga?

In a survey I took yesterday, I was asked what the goal of my yoga practice is. I had to stop and think. I remember when I first started, I used to have goals of doing certain strong postures. I would go to classes and do some things at home to make my body stronger, and I would eventually get there and perform the posture, sometimes at the expense of my shoulder joints.

I think that started changing after a car accident 7 years ago, just three years into practicing yoga. The first thought as I sat on the side of the road with a completely shattered wrist was that it would change my yoga practice. I was a pedestrian against an SUV, so I came out pretty well considering. For the hour or so following the accident, I used my breath to stay calm and manage the pain - I had never done that with my breath before and I was surprised at my own clarity.

After the survey question, I realized that my “yoga goals” are something very different than they used to be. As my teacher always says ‘It depends,’ and I think that is a good description of how I see my practice these days. Now, my goals or intentions for my practice depends on what is happening in my life. The long and short term goals follow the need rather than looking for a particular externally motivated goal.

I sometimes still have the goal of getting generally stronger - that usually kicks in around spring time. But, at the moment, for example, my practices are designed to help me support and cope with pregnancy and prepare me for impending motherhood. Thanks to the guidance of my incredible prenatal yoga consultant, Clare, I am able to utilize the tools of my practice to serve this purpose.

I had a private with Clare over the phone last week, and she worked her Viniyoga magic. In the time we talked about meditation, pranayama and ritual in the service of pregnancy, she took practices that I have developed on my own and helped me see how to use them now. It brought tears to my eyes to see my own inner work laid at my feet to serve!

This new approach to my practice has made me a strong yogi, both physically and spiritually. I swear that my postures became stronger when I changed strategies. Something about letting go of the goal of ‘performing’ postures and instead, experiencing them made them deeper and stronger. During my last training, I was honestly surprised by some the strength I had when asked to demonstrate postures. I never considered myself one of the people who could do very strong postures. In much the same way, my desire to explore my breath and spirit have deepened the other aspects of my practice. It is almost as if giving up the desire to progress in exchange for learning to appreciate the experience is what truly helps me move forward in my practice.

Maybe I should list that as my new ‘yoga goal.’ - I achieve to practice for the experience itself rather than for an external goal. The external goals are so hard to let go of if you have lived in my life.